Done Shooting the Commercial!!

You guys!!!!!!

I did it!  I'm a glorified extra in a Dutch wind energy commercial!!  A trillion pictures comin up...  I exhausted my battery and it needs some lovin' from the charger.

For now, some highlights:
1.  MADURODAM, miniature Holland!!  I pretended to be a Tyrannasaurus when the camera wasn't rolling, which garnered me the nickname "Jurassica."

According to the website: For more than 57 years Madurodam has been the smallest city in the Netherlands. Canals, gabled houses and all kinds of other typical Dutch scenes: the miniature city offers you the highlights of the Netherlands on a scale 1:25.

(**Kat, this is definitely a destination you would go Lady GaGa over.  You'd go so GaGa you'd wear a feather mane for at least a week.**)

2.   Traveling to the North, South and West of Holland with a rowdy group of elderly expats.  (When I looked at the storyboards during the audition, I assumed I had no chance: everyone in the pictures was over 65 or Japanese.  I, sadly, am neither.  But thankfully Eneco energy execs thought they might need a barrel-shaped 20-something to diversify the tour group.  Huzzah!)

3.   Eating Ambrosia and playing Ping Pong with my new besties (Lee and Rod) today.  Actually, the catering was pretty phenomenal in general.  Yellow Chicken Curry, Flakey Pastries and Foamy Macchiatos galore!!


And now, the "lowlights:"
1.  Getting rained on for two hours in Edam while we ate cubes and cubes and cubes of the kaasmarket's famous fare.

2.  My outfit.  (You'll see when I post pictures...apparently American girls dress like Easter Eggs, wear pigtails, and hate eyeliner.)


3.  The schedule.  The past two days I woke up at 4:30 (which happens to be my BEDTIME, thank you very much...), showered, rode my bicycle across Amsterdam to Central Station, hopped onto the bus before 6, and didn't return until 8 or 9.  I'm exhaustedface.

Speaking of which...I am off to bed.

Pictures tomorrow.

xo,
J 

4:30am Commercials with James

I used my digital camera to record thes following four commercials.   We're both pretty blitzed.

Pictures from Corporates and My First Tour Show

Tout a Fait, a Michellin Star recipient in Maastricht

(the site of my first corporate)

Try the duck.  It's spec-quack-ular.

Ughghgghh.  Luna Rossa.  The gelateria beneath a castle.

Tanti bacci.

Me wearing my suit from my National Forensic days.

Also, bikes!

Beautiful morning drive to Amersfoort for corporate #2.

Wee Brian saw me weeping on the side of the road and graciously picked me up.

7:45am call time is TOO EARLY!  That's bed time!

Then again, if I went for two years without seeing a beautiful Dutch morning, that wouldn't be ideal.

The air is thick and dewy and the sky has this ethereal, phosphorescent light emanating from the heavens.  It's, like, super gorg and I'm totes obs.

 

Sticking my head out of the Boom truck kinda hurt.

So obviously I did it some more.

Lolu hiding on the train from Amersfort.

I hid too.

Tilberg!  Gorgeous light, again.

Best tour crew ever!  Dance Party til I die!!

The whole crew (except me) in front of the brand-spankin' new Midi Theater in downtown Amersfort. "Yankee Come Back" was the first professional production at the theater!!

I'm wearing a nightgown as a shirt.  Why?  Because I'm living in a place where everyone looks like a 5-year-old fashion dictator has regimented the outfits people must wear every day.  I LOVE IT!!

Amberguesa y Yo.

I'm so glad she's back from NYC.

That's all for now.

xo, J

Handsome McStalkerface

Let's get real for a second.  I'm gonna spit the truth in 5-4-3-2-1: 

I am really good at making up dance games.  

No matter the venue, "Where am I dancing?" "Dance Language" and "He Doesn't Know You're Dancing With Him" are three of my favorites.  Patent pending...

About a week and a half ago, Lolu, Chapman, and I (the HAWKs) went to Surprise Bar.  This particular establishment is a dodgy, RIDICULOUSLY DUTCH, singles joint where, according to Mikey D, "girls go to get plucked."  As we stepped inside, Chapman's description rang true: they play 45 seconds of your favorite song ever,  ring a cowbell, and change the song to something from a completely different genre/time/country.  Surprise!!  It's perfect for my as-yet-undiagnosed ADHD crazy ass.

After cleverly evading a few double lip lickers (eww!) by the bar, I arrived at my favorite dance corner.  (I never like to dance in the middle of a room...my booty is too magnetic.  The bar would turn into a black hole.)  Almost immediately, I noticed an adorable blonde dude in a white and black scrabble hoodie was dancing rather Dutchly nearby.  Maybe it was his slender 6'3" frame, maybe it was the way he obviously couldn't understand a single thing I said (he asked what I would like to drink--a Vodka Soda--and brought back a Malibu Cola Light), or maybe it was the power I sucked out of his soul like Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus...but I decided it would be a good idea to give this boy (Marco) my number on the street outside the bar after last call.

He insisted that he sweetheart me home (he did, after all, live in my neighborhood). 

Chapman asked his coworker where they are employed.  Marco proudly stated "I am train to be manager at MacDonell's."  Chapman started giggling.  "I wear a tie," Marco went on, beaming.  McDONALD's?!?!? 

Oh god.  Oh god.  I've made a huge mistake.

Let's see...

In America, McDonald's managers look like this:

In Holland, they look like this:

Still.  I knew I had to let him down gently.  "I'm not the kind of girl who goes home with a boy on the first night.  Maybe we'll get a drink some time."  I thought that was over.  That's HOW. I. DO.

The next day, I received 4 SMSs from Marco.  Three from his phone, one from his friend's...

"He's so cute!" 

"No, Jessica.  He works at McDonald's." 

"But think of all the McFlurries!  UNLIMITED McFLURRIES!!!  It would be a McFLURRY STORM!!"

 "He's 21.  You creep.  Four weeks in the happiest place on earf done make you lose yo' mind." 

"Hmmmff."

"Stop playing Farmville.  It's weird."

Then, when I didn't reply for two days, all was Quiet on the Marco Front.

Yesterday, much to my surprise, I had an email.  Not in my Boom Chicago mailbox.  Nono.  My personal gmail.  HOW THE EFF do you find that?  Is he a Narc?  Oh God.  What have I gotten myself into.  Oh goodness. 

What do I do, ether?  Comment!!

xo, J

I booked a commercial!!

I had an audition last week for a Dutch commercial for an energy company.  Today, I officially booked it.  Fittingly, it's for wind power...and I play an American tourist who is dumbfounded by the Dutch language. 

I shoot next week!!  EEEEEE!!!

First Corporate Show (in Maastricht)

I got back from my first corporate show around 4:30am this morning and am feeling a wee bit fuzzy today.   (I'm a little bummed about missing Boom's first 0:00 to 7:00 dance party last night. :( )

So...what's a corporate show? 

Boom does special, customized mini shows for companies all around the world.  In addition to playing a few of our go-to crowd-pleasers (like "the Blues," where we come up with a catchy blues song about a prominent executive in the room, one of his coworkers, and his wife), a cast member comes up with a way to inject corporate jargon into original sketches.  Michael D and I performed 2 of such sketches for a group of about 50 "Toppartners" from a TeleCommunications firm called KPN at a Michellin-star restaurant "Tout a Fait" in Maastricht last night.

What is the audience like?

Let me make one thing clear: I am not a whorebag. 

But Dutch businessmen make me want to raise my freak flag. 

(I've been making too many rhyming couplets recently...)

They are tall and muscular, clean yet rugged, masculine and somewhat aggressive towards waiters (and each other).  Mama like.

Maastricht

Maastricht is AMAZING.  I am definitely going to go with my mama when she comes for my birthday in February (on our way to Paris).  The food at Tout a Fait was unbelievable, there are castles everywhere and I went ape-shit over a gelateria called "Luna Rossa" right near the restaurant.

You gotta be kidding me, right?

It is located on the Southern tip of the Netherlands, between Belgium and Germany.  Some say it is the oldest city in the country, having been consistently inhabited since the Roman times.

Many of the old city walls are still standing strong, and the village has the most precious town centre I've ever stepped foot in.  Don't get me wrong, "LA Live" is adorable...but there's something charming about blending the old world and new.   OOH I'm OBSESSED.

This is a 13th-century town-gate: the Helpoort or Hell's Gate.  I stood underneath it, praying the keystone didn't decide that 20.09.2009 was the date to finally give in (after 8 centuries of courageously serving his duty)

 

Leaving Amsterdam for the first time was GREAT!!  I can't wait to travel more.

xo, J

(*NOTE FOR MAMA*  I took a couple pictures after we finished our set...but can't seem to locate my Nikon's usb cord.  As soon as I do, I will upload them...)

My Bike Broke :(

Bikes are a necessity in Amsterdam.  I'm no Lacey Armstrong, but I have fully enjoyed navigating the city and Vondelpark on pedal singing "Eerste tijd op het fiets!!" as loudly as possible.  Dutch people usually look at me with disdain...and gradually fade to moderate acceptance. 

For the past 2 weeks, I was riding a bike that had been passed down for four Boom generations.  Three different bike shops told me various versions of "I won't touch that," "that's a danger to society," and "look at all that rust."   While this is not the first time I've been told these things by handsome men, I was resistant to listen to their warnings.  Bikes be pricey, y'know?

Yesterday, Chapman (the saint) and Lolu (wife-killa!!) accompanied to their friend's bike shop, "Too-Six."  Owned by a friendly Chicago-native, I felt at home.  We traded in my death trap in addition to another old boom actor's extra wheels for a trusty antique Gazelle.  "It needs a bit of work, but it's much safer than what you were riding before," Bruce assured me as I skipped out of the tiny shop with my new ride.  Things were looking up.

Unfortunately, on my way home from a crazy night with the HAWKs at Los Pilones (yummmmmmm) and a coffee shop (...I was there for the mandatory pear juice, mama...), MY FREAKING PEDAL FELL OFF.

I'm pissed. Bruce sold me a lemon.  And for that he will pay.  Or bake me a deep dish.

Now, I'm off to Albert Heijn to purchase some much-needed groceries to fill my tiny fridge before James gets back.  On foot.

xo,
j

Great Reviews!!

NY Magazine gave us a fantastic review this week!!  Congrats to Jordan, Amber, Liz and James!!  Way to make us look good...

I LOVE THIS!

This has nothing to do with Boom Chicago or Amsterdam, but I miss my pug and love this video.

The Leidseplein (the "Lie-Tzuh-Pline")

The Boom Chicago theater is located in the Leidseplein.  This is a beautiful square full of bars, clubs, and shops.  During the warmer months, the terrace is completely covered by tables with umbrellas.  This is how it looks at night.  Gorgeous.

 

The train stop is on the opposite corner from the theater.  I take the 1.  The last train swoops by around 12:15 (errr...0:15) which limits my alcohol consumption significantly.  Dammit.

  

After the show we get a drink.  Michael D is taking care of orders.

 

Liz usually drinks a fancy beer during notes.

 

Pep (the artistic director/owner of Boom Chicago) drinks pink wine.

 

A view of the train tracks.

 

The movie theater at the Leidseplein.

 

For the second night in a row, my Nikon was roofied.

4 shows down, 5 billion to go...

 

Alrighty.  Sorry it's taking me so long to post.  They're keeping me busy, ok?

***

I've been here just over a week and have already performed in four Boom Chicago shows.  "Best of Boom 2009" (the "funniest two hours in Amsterdam" ...according to the Boom Chicago website) was a lot easier for me to learn than "Yankee Come Back."  Yankee is heavily scripted, has a lot of Dutch history/phrases I'm not used to, and with only 4 players performing in each 2-hour show, it's a heavy load!! 

That being said, I'm in love.   The audiences seem thoroughly impressed with the material, I LOVE playing with these talented folks, and the Boom theater is a wonder to behold.

***

 

This is a picture before my second "Best of Boom" show.  It was oh-so-vag-heavy: all three lady actresses, Julie (one of the musical directors) and one queen (Michael D, not pictured)!!   We thought it would be a good idea to all wear ridiculous overbelts.  After the show, one of my favorite horeca dudes (pronounced "whore-reck-a," meaning a staff member of a hotel, restaurant or kitchen) who I lovingly call Mr. Dolce (short for Dolce and Gabana), pointed at my belt and said "ohh no, girl.  That's just gross."  Apparently he didn't like our accessory choice of the night.

 In addition to fast pace, one of my favorite things about Boom shows are the props.  The green room is chock full of a billion wigs, jackets, shirts and accessories.  I love it!!  I'm such a tranny mess sometimes...

On a side note, I think my new camera is on "mushroom trip" setting.