GROWWWWL!

Ms. Torres be crazy!  I like her style...

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2010/03/31/world/20100331SANCTUARY_index.html

                                    And now, a Haiku...

Busy Busy Bee.

Doing 8 shows in 4 days.

All for tha honeys.

Eventually I'll post about my birthday, trip to Barcelona, etc.

For now, I gotta fetch me some zzzzzs.

Out.

xx Jess

I've Already Watched this 5 Times

Ben Folds...an improv GENIUS?

crazytown(butterfly)
xx j

ps - Heading to Germany tomorrow for a corporate show.  Can't wait!  Got a case of alleMANIA.

Reggie Watts is coming to Boom!

This hilarious beat boxin comedian is coming to Boom in about 10 days.  I'm so excited to witness his genius live. 

Here's a taste:

LOOSEWORLD x Waverly Films: Reggie Watts in F_CK SH_T STACK from LOOSEWORLD on Vimeo.

My Birthday and the Chapman Challenge

On my birthday, Lolu challenged Chapman to prop up, take pictures of strangers, and charge them 2 Euros a piece at the Sugar Factory.  IT WAS GLORIOUS.

Check out the slideshow I put together to commemorate the glorious occasion. 

(The challenge begins about 1:30...)

Another Awesome Video...

Just did a show for 220 Dutch students in the middle of the day.  Now I'm off to film another Avatarded video...more details to come...



Amazing.  And shot in my old LA neighborhood (Echo Park)...

xxxxx
jess

Oh wow. Hold your Horses!

 
70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

Me likey.

The Dark Side

My hair is even darker than it was.  My favorite dreamgirl (Sylwia) did the deed on Monday.  I look like a completely different person.  I've officially Jason Bourned myself.

Now let's go listen to Black Sabbath, repair my paisley tiered skirt, and light some lemongrass incense....

(pictures to come...)

xxxxx
Vampira VonSlaughterdijk

Grandpa Ganja

My parents are coming to visit me on Saturday.  I'm so excited!!  I haven't seen Bob and Elena for at least 6 months.   We're gonna rent bikes, check out some museums, gulp down some herring, maybe stroll through the Red Light District... it's gonna be great.

Anyhoo, I haven't decided whether I should give them a "Welcome to Amsterdam" joint.  I have asked several of my coworkers for their opinion.  While many have said yes, most say no. 

This video is making me swing towards "maybe...but only if they ask for it:"



What do you think?  COMMENT!!

xxxxx, j

Avatar Shoot

Earlier this week, we (James, Lolu and I) woke up at the butt crack of dawn and headed down to Den Bosch to shoot a mockumentary about fans of Avatar who like to gather for Live Action Role Playing (LARP) events.   The production crew we worked with does a lot of high budget commercials in Holland and the makeup artists they hired were awesome.

 

Makeup Table

 Finished Product

Didn't take very long, actually...but putting in those damn yellow contacts was the WORST!

 

Na'Vi Lolu

 

James Na'vi (the organizer of the event)

 

My Na'Vi name is Pika'ante

 

  

My husband, Buddy

(his character was the least enthusiastic about the event...so his makeup wasn't as rad)

It was literally the coldest I've ever been.  A hot cup of tea froze DURING a scene.  My left eye was uber irritated by the yellow contacts, false eyelashes, and semi toxic paint...and wouldn't stop watering for the next 14 hours.  Woops.

 The chick on the right had the best makeup.  Real Swarovski crystals were glued to her forehead!

 

 

 

Most of the group!  I see you!

  

Rawwwwwr!!!

 

  

  

 Y'know.  We're just some Na'vi tribespeople sitting at a Dutch craftservices table...on a Monday...in a house built in 1867...mmmm licorice drop gummies, stroopwafels and stampot...

****

And then we kidnapped Lolu...

I SEE YOU,

xxxxx

Pika'Ante

Halloween 2010

Done and done.

xxxx

Shaggy 

(Avatar film shoot comin' up shortly...)

Jesse Jackson is Coming!

Boom is doing a show with MTV and Coolpolitics tomorrow.  Jesse Jackson is coming and might improvise.  That's awesome.  I'll be in Maastricht doing a corporate for Vodaphone, but I'm excited to attend the party when I return!

On a completely unrelated note, I met my first Suicide Girls tonight after the show.  As much as I'd like to think of myself as a sexually liberated woman...it became more and more obvious during our discussion that I would be a terrible---nay---THE world's WORST suicide girl. 

Here's why:
1.  I am terrified of buzzing needles and hepatitis C.   No inkage be comin' up on these sleeves.
2.  I'm germaphobic.  If I pee on your chest, what if some splatters close to your mouth?  Yuck.
3.  You gotta love being nudie.  I'm a never nude. (a la Tobias Funke)

xxxxxxxx
jessica

On my S*** List

I have the blues.

About five months ago, I moved halfway across the globe to a place where I didn't know a soul.

I haven't seen my best friends, family, or pugpug in what seems like forever... and the novelty of leaving everything I know for an exciting (but also scary) adventure has somewhat worn off and I'm realizing just how "distant" I really feel.

I'm gonna bitch for a bit, ok?

Ok.

1.  My mattress: I've inherited an IKEA extra-long, full-sized bed (does that make sense?).  It is basically a droopy pita pocket.  Each night, as I lay for hours like a sleepless piece of schwarma, I plot my revenge on the Swedes...and think about how nice it must be to date a chiropractor...or tiny Asian woman.

2.  The Dutch Postal Service: Eight weeks ago, my mama sent me a replacement digital camera for Christmas (the one I brought got smashed at Julie's going away party...).  After Elena payed a trillion dollars for shipping and insurance, the Dutch postal service (TNT) held it for almost 6 weeks in customs.  When I finally received it last week, I had to pay them 30 Euros in value added tax.  Yep, I paid for my own present.  I'm not happy, Mr. Postman. :(

3.  Weather/Lack of Daylight:  Short days, blustery weather and my unusually late work schedule make it very hard for me to get the crucial, energizing sunshine I crave.  Rain makes riding my bike--which is usually a joy--absolutely miserable.  And Lord knows my hair texture can't cope with 120% humidity.  I went from 70 degrees and sunny to 9 degrees and which-way-is-East.  I'm turning into Eeyore!

4.  Money:  Applied for Raakvlaak in order to be paid for that Eneco energy commercial I shot in September.  Was denied.  Because I am a "knowledge visitor" (when they hired me, Boom had to prove to the Dutch authorities that I deserved this job more than a native Nederlander...), I'm not allowed to work for anyone else.  Hopefully this will get sorted soon... I gotsta get payed!!

A haiku:

Alone, damp and cold

Dutch customs can S my D.

I want my mommy.

I'll feel better soon.  Mom and Dad are coming in 3 weeks for my birthday and I can't wait for us to explore Barcelona together.

xxxxxxxx (hold me)

Jess

Like! Dislike!

LIKE:  DUTCH DAIRY.   

Seriously: cereal and ice cream has never tasted this delicious. 

DISLIKE:  DUTCH TOILETS.  

They have a "shelf" that forces you to behold your filth before flushing it away from sight.  

(*NOTE: I never poop...but if I did it would shoot out, rapid fire, like deer pellets...and smell like freesias.)

LIKE:  WICKED JAZZ SOUNDS @ THE SUGAR FACTORY 

Every Sunday night, around the corner from Boom, the "Sugar Factory" throws a gigantic dance party with a live 5-piece band plus DJ.  They work together in perfect harmony to make the best dance music.  Everrrrr.

DISLIKE:  DUTCH SERVICE

Approximately 95% of Dutch individuals in the service industry feel anywhere from indifference to utter repugnance towards their patrons.  

I've waited for 35 minutes to see one of three chatty tellers at a nearly-empty bank.  

I've seen a bartender sneeze DIRECTLY INTO a mojito.

Just last week, the checkout clerk at my grocery store accidentally swiped my pasta sauce with the items of the man in front of me.  He informed her of the mistake and, rather than giving him his money back, made ME give HIM exact change for it... growing visibly impatient when my frantic purse-bottom treasure hunt lasted longer than she'd like.

The Dutch customer, it seems, is never right.

***

Things I miss most about Los Angeles:

1.  Trader Joe's

2.  Costco (oh, bulky goodness)

3.  NETFLIX/Hulu

4.  Salsa/Good Mexican Food
5.  Freakin' good weather

Things I miss LEAST about Los Angeles:

1.  Driving (I can't believe I haven't driven in 5 months)

2.  Working three part time jobs for little pay and no benefits



alright, homies.  it's late.

yours,
jameson-lovin jlowe

Testify.

This weekend, I was hired by Philips to give a testimonial about a new epilator.  What's an epilator?  It's a ridiculously painful hair removal system.

Out of the blue, they hired me from my headshot (which, of course, shows a little blond girl with pigtails...not a smoldering, edgy brunette).  The producers fired me once I informed them about my hair...but then rehired me when they couldn't find anyone else.  Suckers.

The girl before me was awful.  The girl after me had to wear a fake pregnancy belly.  The script was long and awkward and the crew kept making jokes about 3 men and a young girl in a bedroom.   I'm pretty sure I rocked it.

I think I have a future in selling painful products I've never used...

xxx

Hair Free Jessica

Why I Love Seth Meyers

Brilliant/Adorable:

A Dutch Lesson

Here are my top 3 favorite dutch words/expressions:
1.  Doei ("DOO-weee"):  It means goodbye.  I love a good diphthong.  And when dutch ladies say it, their voices always go up at least two octaves.
2.  Donderdag* ("DON-duhrr-dach"): Thursday.  Doesn't it sound ominous?  "When is the plumber coming to fix your sink?" "DONDERDAG!!!"  
3.  Roomkaas Tieten ("ROME-kahs TEET-ehn"): Cream cheese tits.  :)

And, for those romantics out there:
"Ik heb altijd van jou gehouden" (Ik heb ALL-tide fun yow ge-HOW-when") = I have always loved you


xxxx
Mevrouw Jessica



*Gs in Dutch are like chavs in Hebrew.  Or, for you goyim out there, it's the sound you make when clearing the back of your throat of a moderate amount of mucous.

Brownie McCoffee Head

I have brown hair!

 

I stole Shane's camera for at least an hour (this was probably around 4am).

Dance party in the shiny!

 

LOLU!

 

Dancing with my-sehh-elf.

I'm still getting used to it, but I think I like the change.

HAPPY 20-10!

xxxxxxx

jess

Happy 2010!

Hope your festivities were grand.  I had a helluva time at Boom's "Mad Men" party.  At midnight, I was standing on a rooftop in Amsterdam, under a full moon, surrounded by 360 views of fireworks. It was absolutely stunning and something I will truly never forget.

2009: "Shmoo shmousand shmine"

2010: "20 years ago, it was 1990"

Also. I like this: