Like! Dislike!

LIKE:  DUTCH DAIRY.   

Seriously: cereal and ice cream has never tasted this delicious. 

DISLIKE:  DUTCH TOILETS.  

They have a "shelf" that forces you to behold your filth before flushing it away from sight.  

(*NOTE: I never poop...but if I did it would shoot out, rapid fire, like deer pellets...and smell like freesias.)

LIKE:  WICKED JAZZ SOUNDS @ THE SUGAR FACTORY 

Every Sunday night, around the corner from Boom, the "Sugar Factory" throws a gigantic dance party with a live 5-piece band plus DJ.  They work together in perfect harmony to make the best dance music.  Everrrrr.

DISLIKE:  DUTCH SERVICE

Approximately 95% of Dutch individuals in the service industry feel anywhere from indifference to utter repugnance towards their patrons.  

I've waited for 35 minutes to see one of three chatty tellers at a nearly-empty bank.  

I've seen a bartender sneeze DIRECTLY INTO a mojito.

Just last week, the checkout clerk at my grocery store accidentally swiped my pasta sauce with the items of the man in front of me.  He informed her of the mistake and, rather than giving him his money back, made ME give HIM exact change for it... growing visibly impatient when my frantic purse-bottom treasure hunt lasted longer than she'd like.

The Dutch customer, it seems, is never right.

***

Things I miss most about Los Angeles:

1.  Trader Joe's

2.  Costco (oh, bulky goodness)

3.  NETFLIX/Hulu

4.  Salsa/Good Mexican Food
5.  Freakin' good weather

Things I miss LEAST about Los Angeles:

1.  Driving (I can't believe I haven't driven in 5 months)

2.  Working three part time jobs for little pay and no benefits



alright, homies.  it's late.

yours,
jameson-lovin jlowe

Testify.

This weekend, I was hired by Philips to give a testimonial about a new epilator.  What's an epilator?  It's a ridiculously painful hair removal system.

Out of the blue, they hired me from my headshot (which, of course, shows a little blond girl with pigtails...not a smoldering, edgy brunette).  The producers fired me once I informed them about my hair...but then rehired me when they couldn't find anyone else.  Suckers.

The girl before me was awful.  The girl after me had to wear a fake pregnancy belly.  The script was long and awkward and the crew kept making jokes about 3 men and a young girl in a bedroom.   I'm pretty sure I rocked it.

I think I have a future in selling painful products I've never used...

xxx

Hair Free Jessica

Why I Love Seth Meyers

Brilliant/Adorable:

A Dutch Lesson

Here are my top 3 favorite dutch words/expressions:
1.  Doei ("DOO-weee"):  It means goodbye.  I love a good diphthong.  And when dutch ladies say it, their voices always go up at least two octaves.
2.  Donderdag* ("DON-duhrr-dach"): Thursday.  Doesn't it sound ominous?  "When is the plumber coming to fix your sink?" "DONDERDAG!!!"  
3.  Roomkaas Tieten ("ROME-kahs TEET-ehn"): Cream cheese tits.  :)

And, for those romantics out there:
"Ik heb altijd van jou gehouden" (Ik heb ALL-tide fun yow ge-HOW-when") = I have always loved you


xxxx
Mevrouw Jessica



*Gs in Dutch are like chavs in Hebrew.  Or, for you goyim out there, it's the sound you make when clearing the back of your throat of a moderate amount of mucous.

Brownie McCoffee Head

I have brown hair!

 

I stole Shane's camera for at least an hour (this was probably around 4am).

Dance party in the shiny!

 

LOLU!

 

Dancing with my-sehh-elf.

I'm still getting used to it, but I think I like the change.

HAPPY 20-10!

xxxxxxx

jess

Happy 2010!

Hope your festivities were grand.  I had a helluva time at Boom's "Mad Men" party.  At midnight, I was standing on a rooftop in Amsterdam, under a full moon, surrounded by 360 views of fireworks. It was absolutely stunning and something I will truly never forget.

2009: "Shmoo shmousand shmine"

2010: "20 years ago, it was 1990"

Also. I like this: