I know, I know. I'm a douchebag. I haven't posted in over a year. That's ridiculous and I'm sorry.
Here are the top 10 things that happened to me between my last post and May 11th, 2011...
I GOT STRANDED IN LONDON!! (April 2010)
Eyjafjallajökull erupted the same day as James, Rob and Shane and headed to London to perform for a Epistemology conference in Clivedon. It was glorious. I ate fish and chips, headbutted a slag at Primark and even banged a Mash! Whatever that means...
PADDINGTON BEAR!!
(Or, as the Dutch say, "Bear Paddington!")
Rob looks worried.
Shane doesn't. (It was his birthday...)
Natural disaster clouds have a VERY silver lining. Extended visit to the UK!
The site of the conference. Not too shabby.
Pity.
My esteemed colleagues.
We stayed at the QUIRKIEST Bed and Breakfast near Clivedon on our first night. I've never seen so much random shit shoved into such a beautiful house. The couple who own it are lovely, and I'd love to go back.
Awwwww!!!
UGHHHGHHHHH! OH GOD, WHY!?!?!
"Rob Disobeys Shane"
a series
***
View near Buckingham Palace...
QUEEN'S DAY with the SNL WRITERS! (April 2010)
Seth Meyers and his team came to witness the madness of Queen's Day. Pep set up the most amazing treasure hunt around Amsterdam for us. I was on team Purple with Seth. We won. Obviously.
Pass the Pigs tournament...
Queen's Night Party at Boom...
Queen's Day 2010!!!
PARIS, JE T'AIME (May 2010)
I went to Paris for the first time! The croissants were flakey, the hotel was pricey and the locals were snobbish. Perfectly French. I also downloaded the Hipstamatic App on my iPhone so my pictures are extra obnoxious...
Sylwia is too sexual for the Thalys train personnel.
Yeah, I captured a pigeon flying over the Louvre. NBD.
Harry's Bar claims to have invented the Bloody Mary. Mine was fantastic...and totally worth 15 euros not.
Le phallus.
"Jean Luc! Dites-moi, comment avez-vous échapper à la police?"
"Je descendis les escaliers!"
"Magnifique!"
WORLD CUP (June 2010)
(aka Complete. Utter. Madness.)
I'm lucky to have witnessed Holland's epic journey to the final. Eff You, Equipo Espana. Cabrones.
BERLIN WITH MIKEY (August 2010)
My older brother Mikey visited me for a couple weeks last summer. He's the best. He and I zipped over to Berlin for 72 hours and had a blast. But didn't take enough pictures.
LOVELAND (August 14, 2010)
I went to a FANTASTIC outdoor music festival. I got a glitter tat sleeve, danced on a floating dance floor and wore stupid glasses almost the entire day. Here is the photographic proof...
COTE D'AZURE (August 2010)
I went to Nice, Cannes and Monaco with my Canadian BFF Noah. The hostel was terrible, but the trip was SO LAVISH. No wonder people vacation in the South of France.
I GOT HURT (August 29th, 2010)
I got in a hit and run accident with a motorcycle and suffered 3rd degree burns when I was riding my bike. Imagine holding a hot iron against your calf for 6 seconds.
DUTCH BOYFRIEND
Oh yeah...him. I dated/practically lived with a Dutch guy for almost 8 months. His name is Bob, he's a chef/owns 2 restaurants in Amsterdam, and is UBER Dutch. (Dutch ManFriends require a post all to themselves...) We just recently split and I'm still torn up about it.
MY BIRTHDAY (February 2011)
Ok. It's freaking 4:45 in the morning. I gotta stop now. I hope I'll post about Queen's Day, The Efteling and our new show, "Social Media Circus" as soon as I can.
Boy I missed you.
Love and snuggles, xx Jess
(aka Complete. Utter. Madness.)
I'm lucky to have witnessed Holland's epic journey to the final. Eff You, Equipo Espana. Cabrones.
We'll get to him later...
BERLIN WITH MIKEY (August 2010)
My older brother Mikey visited me for a couple weeks last summer. He's the best. He and I zipped over to Berlin for 72 hours and had a blast. But didn't take enough pictures.
LOVELAND (August 14, 2010)
I went to a FANTASTIC outdoor music festival. I got a glitter tat sleeve, danced on a floating dance floor and wore stupid glasses almost the entire day. Here is the photographic proof...
COTE D'AZURE (August 2010)
I went to Nice, Cannes and Monaco with my Canadian BFF Noah. The hostel was terrible, but the trip was SO LAVISH. No wonder people vacation in the South of France.
"I'm in a pool on a yacht in the Monaco harbour in the Cote d'Azure." - Randome L'Douchebag
Monte Carlo
Meh.
Noah has WAYYYY better pictures. Check out his album.
I GOT HURT (August 29th, 2010)
I got in a hit and run accident with a motorcycle and suffered 3rd degree burns when I was riding my bike. Imagine holding a hot iron against your calf for 6 seconds.
The Dutch hospital cure...cold shower. :-/
DUTCH BOYFRIEND
Oh yeah...him. I dated/practically lived with a Dutch guy for almost 8 months. His name is Bob, he's a chef/owns 2 restaurants in Amsterdam, and is UBER Dutch. (Dutch ManFriends require a post all to themselves...) We just recently split and I'm still torn up about it.
In the kitchen, like a man should be.
Halloween: A zombie nurse and her "experiment."
With his colleagues and sister.
New Year's 2011.
The reason I had to go on a 10 day cleanse...
I swear I'm totally over him. I swear.
By the way, where should I put this dirty laundry? Hang it in a public forum? Ok. I'm sure there'll be more. I'm in the business of maneating/getting heartbroken. Le sigh.
MY BIRTHDAY (February 2011)
While Boom was being renovated during the month of February, we performed at the beautiful Odeon theater. The staff was unbelievably friendly (and good-looking) so I decided to muster the strength to ask them if I could throw my birthday party in their basement. They agreed.
I only got my camera out of my purse around 3am, but trust me...
It was the best birthday ever.
I'm pretty sure my party is where Lolu and Compton Longbeach Jimmy Woods cemented their bromance.
The after-after party.
Ok. It's freaking 4:45 in the morning. I gotta stop now. I hope I'll post about Queen's Day, The Efteling and our new show, "Social Media Circus" as soon as I can.
Boy I missed you.
Love and snuggles, xx Jess
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